


The stars I built for you

by maugrim



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel Crowley (Good Omens), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Archangel bashing, Crowley created the stars, Crowley's Bentley (Good Omens), Crowley's Fall (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pining, Queen Songs, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Stars, Time Jump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 15:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19833196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maugrim/pseuds/maugrim
Summary: Crowley once created stars for Aziraphale, but it took 6000 years for him to see them.





	1. Over 6000 years ago, Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so first fic in this fandom and all, I'm kind of nervous. I hope I didn't messed up too badly, also because I'm not a native English speaking person and my copy of the book hasn't arrived yet, so I have just knowledge of the tv show.  
> Nevertheless, I still hope some of you might like this.

**Part one - 6000 years ago, Heaven**

He hadn’t planned this. Somehow it just had sort of … happened, you know? Like things sometimes just do? This was at least, what he would have claimed, if anyone had ever bothered to ask, which – luckily – no one had. 

The angel, who would later be known as the demon Crowley, was currently lurking behind a pillar and trying to act inconspicuous while he kept an eye on a certain angel. He was beautiful with his fluffy, bright hair and the soft smile.  
Quite honestly he didn’t know much about him. He knew barely more than his name – Aziraphale, and that he was supposed to be the carrier of the flaming sword, if rumours were to be believed.  
There was something about Aziraphale that made him different to the others. Given, he was following the rules the Almighty had installed just like the rest of them, and yet he seemed to be different. He saw potential there. It might be hidden at times underneath layers of obedience but it was unmistakably there. Crowley just hoped that he would be careful and able to maintain this trait. The Almighty wasn’t the most forgiving when it came to deviant behaviour. 

“Ah, there you are!” He flinched when a hand landed on his shoulder and nearly cursed himself for it right away. Crowley turned and looked into Gabriel’s face. “We need more hands on creating the celestial bodies and stars and the rest She has in mind.”  
“Sure”, he muttered, casting a quick glance back to Aziraphale, but the angel seemed to be too occupied to have taken notice in them.  
The angel’s purple eyes studied him for a brief moment, then he looked over to Aziraphale. His lips curled in a faint expression of disapproval, before turning back to Crowley.  
“Come along”, he demanded in the commanding tone of an archangel he valued so very little. He spread his wings and started to take off without checking if Crowley followed him. 

He didn’t like the archangels, or many of the other angels in general, if he was quite honest. They were so obedient and blindly following orders and yet at the same time carried such a arrogant posture, that it made him sick. Sometimes he secretly wondered, if he was the only one of this lot who was actually questioning Her. Well, him and a couple of other angels. But he was a bit less vocal about it, for now.

The sky around them got darker the longer they flew and the temperature dropped rapidly. Crowley wondered briefly if a miracle wouldn’t have been the faster method to travel, when Gabriel slowed down his wing beatings and hovered in the air. They were surrounded by pitch black nothingness. 

“Yeah, great, big black nothing. What now?”, Crowley asked, shooting Gabriel a dubious look. The other angel’s face seemed to glow, just a little, enough that he could make out his features.  
“Now, you are going to build stars, just like the rest of us. She has a very strict time table and we should not keep Her waiting.”  
He hold out his hands in front of and frowned. A small ball of light formed between Gabriel’s hands that steadily grew bigger and brighter. When the ball of light had reached a respectable seize, he guided it to a place far out in the void, that it was barely more than a bright spot in the dark.  
“There. It’s your turn now. Make more of these. She calls them ‘stars’. I have more important matters to attend to.”

Crowley watched as Gabriel took off, before facing the dark void in front of him again. Now, stars. He could do this. Maybe this could work as a distraction and inspire another topic to think about.  
He closed his eyes, trying to imagine how this black space would look covered in stars. Maybe he could put different patterns, different colours. He tried to envision how it could look when it was done and began. 

He lost track of time and space, hovering in midst of space and slowly colouring it with bright celestial orbs, stars. He was smiling, dark red hair floating around him, while he focused his energy between his hands. Forming light and energy and building one star after another and searching for the ideal spot of the celestial body he had formed. He put his heart into it, using his feelings, the warmth in his chest.  
He thought of Aziraphale; the soft smile, his difference. It was an outlet for him, while at the same time using it as a distraction for creating something new.  
It was inspiring to watch how the black space got brighter and slowly getting forms. It was beautiful, colourful, glittering in every imaginable shade. He created nebulas, stars, clouds of stars. It took time, but it was so very worth it. To create something out of his own imagination, something new, was satisfying. It was perfect and his hands were glittering of star dust, his heart filled with joy. There were two stars prominently in the middle.

Maybe, just maybe he could show this to Aziraphale, someday.  
***  
He was falling. Fire fed on his wings, like a wild, hungry animal, tearing and chewing on sensitive flesh, burning up his wings. Pain tore through his body. He might have been screaming, well, he was most definitely screaming. 

It was long fall down to Earth. He was slowly swinging back and forth, slowly descending. As if he had all the time in the world to fall, well, more like sauntering down. But somehow he kind of did have all the time in the world, right? Being cast out and all? No need to rush things now, he’d share the company of the other cast-outs soon enough. Looking back he hung out with the wrong people, but if you had the choice between one kind of bastards and another kind of bastards, is it really a choice to make?

Crowley tried to flap his wings to gain height again, but the movement seemed to make the fire and the pain worse than just enduring it without a fight. He couldn’t say he regretted asking questions, but her methods were indeed quite merciless.  
Horrified he watched as his once so spotless white wings blackened. Hellfire was a real bitch. So much for a merciful God, right?

When he finally reached solid ground, he just laid there for a while. The flames seemed to have died down once the last bit of white seemed to have been burned up. Carefully he spread his blackened wings. Burned up stumps where once graceful feathers grew. He barely dared to move much. His wings were sensitive and he was sure, he would feel it for quite a while until it would heal.

„It looks quite different from down here.“  
Crowley looked in the direction the voice had come from and saw another fallen angel sitting just a few feet away from him, his face turned towards the sun. „Do you think the stars we created look very different from down here? You can’t really tell with the sun shining and all.“  
He flinched. Yes, the stars, they were so far away, farer from before and so very small. Not more than tiny, bright dots against a darkening sky. She hadn’t only taken his name, his status, his former wings, but has also taken his stars from him. Maybe this was part of his punishment as well. That and being away from this angel who was so very different.  
Aziraphale had taken a step forwards when She made Michael and the rest of her archangels cast the disobedient lot out. His eyes slightly widened. Crowley still had his face in front of him and he shook his head to get the image out.

„It is probably time for us to choose new names.“  
Crowley looked up. He could barely bear the sight. He left his heart in Heaven, safe and sound in Aziraphale‘s care, without the angel even knowing.  
Experimental he snapped his fingers and his form changed into the form a black snake with a red belly. At least She doesn’t seem to have take everything from them. He still could perform a miracle or two. Maybe in this form he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of his wings for now.  
”Crawly”, he declared. “I think I choose Crawly for know.“ With that he slithered away through the sand.

***

“Now, go up there and cause some trouble.” 

The words still echoed in his head, as he slithered through the Garden of Eden. That sounded easy enough, right? Cause a bit of mischief? Especially with a tree proudly presenting forbidden fruit, Her newly created humans weren’t allowed to touch. Pretty dumb, really, when you think about it. Why put it in the garden in the first place then? Just to test their obedience? Yeah, that was the kind of thing She would enjoy. Who knew that asking too many questions and questioning One’s authority could get you kicked out of Heaven? He certainly did, now. And when he did his job right, he would cause those two humans to be cast out of this garden as well. Kind of ironic, really.

Still, the Garden of Eden in itself was beautiful. A welcome distraction from the dark and uninviting place called Hell and the dry landscape outside of the walls of this garden. If he hadn’t had a job to fulfil he would have loved to spend some time here. 

He spiralled up a tree to get a better look. The tree of forbidden fruit was supposed to be here somewhere, right? He slithered up to a thick tree branch, when a rustling noise attracted his attention.  
If he would have eyelids in this form, he might have blinked. There stood, a flaming sword in hand, Aziraphale. If he wasn’t coiled around the branch so well, he might have slipped out of surprise.  
“Oh, hello, there”, Aziraphale said in a soft voice. “I haven’t seen you yet. Have you been here long, my dear?”  
Crawly didn’t move. The angel reached out a hand to him. “Come here, dear. I won’t do you any harm.” His fingers holding in front of his face, Crawly flicked his tongue out, smelling. He kind of smelled like Heaven.  
Aziraphale smiled. “Have I passed the test?”  
Crawly hold still, as Aziraphale carefully stroked over his scales; a warm hand against a cool body. He should leave, it would be wise to leave. Now.  
He forced himself to draw back and slithered down the tree again, to continue his way over the Earth. He had humans to tempt after all.

***

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?”, Crawly asked, eyes raking critically up and down Aziraphale’s frame. “Uh. You did.” He could see Aziraphale shifting uncomfortably. “It was flaming like anything. What happened to it? Uh Lost it already, have you?”  
“Gave it away”, the angel mumbled, looking embarrassed.  
“You what?”, blurted Crawly. He had to be have misheard that, right? Aziraphale being an angel and all. Angels didn’t do these things.  
“I give it away!”, Aziraphale repeated louder. “There are vicious animals. It's going to be cold out there. And she's expecting already. And I said, "Here you go. Flaming sword. Don't thank me. And don't let the sun go down on you here. "- I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing.”  
“Oh, you’re an angel, I don’t think you can do the wrong thing.” Favourism and all. On the other hand, She had kicked Crawley and Satan’s lot out, but no need to bring that to mind now. Kind of a mood killer, that.  
Aziraphale smiled, shooting him a charmed look. “Oh, oh, thank - Oh, thank you. It's been bothering me.”  
With a half-supressed sigh Crowley added. “I've been worrying, too. What if I did the right thing with the whole "eat the apple" business? A demon can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing.” The lion was roaring at the distance, while they watched Adam trying to attac it with the flaming sword. “It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh? If I did the good thing and you did the bad one.”  
They chuckled, until Aziraphale abruptly sobered up. “No. It wouldn't be funny at all.”

The rain got heavier now. Thick droplet falling from the sky and Aziraphale lifted one of his wings, holding it out for Crawly so crawl under.  
Yes, if there was such a thing as a “favourite angel”, this might be just the one, Crawly thought to himself. Pretty and a bit rebellious. It seemed to be the impression he had gotten when they were still both in Heaven had been right. He huddled a little closer to Aziraphale and thought of his stars, while they silently watched the first rain fall on the land.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part two - Before the apocalypse, Earth**

“This is ridiculous.”  
“You’re ridiculous. I don’t know why I’m still talking to you.”  
“Well, frankly, neither do I.”  
“Enough, I’’m leaving.”  
“You can’t leave, Crowley. There isn’t anywhere to go.”  
Crowley stopped in his tracks and turned back around to face Aziraphale.  
“It’s a big universe. Even if this ends up in a puddle of burning goo, we could go off together!“  
There, he said it. Finally, after 6000 years he said it. Actually it was the perfect plan. They wouldn’t be on Earth when the ineffable apocalypse happened and it would also give him the opportunity to finally show Aziraphale what he created all this thousands of years ago - because of him, for him. It was a win-win situation....right?

”Go off together?”, Aziraphale repeated. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. The tone of his voice didn’t sound good. He sounded disbelieving and taken by surprise. Crowley could practically see the battle Aziraphale was fighting inside. “Listen to yourself.”

He doesn’t think he deserves this, - voice in the back of his head supplied and it pained Crowley. He knows Aziraphale’s relationship with the angels is complicated; Hell, he had made similar experiences himself first hand. But there wasn’t much he could say to change Aziraphale’s mind, without making him hurt.

Please, angel, I just want you to be safe. But he couldn’t really say this out loud, now could he? It wasn’t that long ago, that Aziraphale had told him, that he “was going too fast for him”. The words had stung, still did, if he was quite honest, but he would be patient. He had to be patient. All he could offer him was a chance to get out of this apocalypse-antichrist-mess. Maybe it was time to try a different approach.

“How long have we been friends? 6000 years.”  
Aziraphale’s face contorted. “Friends. We are not friends. We are an angel and a demon. We have nothing whatsoever in common. I don’t even like you.“  
Crowley tried his hardest not to show how forceful these words had ripped his heart out.  
“You do!”, he contradicted. Come on, don’t do this to me. I know you may not feel the same towards me, but he can’t deny, he didn’t enjoy our time together. If he really wouldn’t have liked me, he wouldn’t have brought me the tartan thermos with the holy water, right? That had to mean something.  
“Even I did know where the antichrist was, I wouldn’t tell you. We are on opposite sides.”  
“We are on our side!” Crowley staked closer.  
“There is no ‘our side’, Crowley!” Panic and distress coloured Aziraphale’s voice. “Not anymore. It’s over!” If he had a heart, his would have just shattered to a billion tiny pieces, just like the stars he built for Aziraphale, glittering up in space.  
He couldn’t let him see, how much his words had hurt him. He forced himself to turn on his heal and gave a short wave. “Right. Well, have a nice doomsday, then.”  
Stupid, infuriating angel!

***

He was not panicking, nope, not panicking at all. He would just get Aziraphale and then they would be off. Time was running out and if they wanted to have a chance to survive the apocalypse unharmed, they had to leave, now!  
There, there he was! Aziraphale was walking on the side walk. With slightly squealing brakes he stopped the Bentley, not quite caring he was half parking in the middle of the road. A horn gave a protesting sound somewhere behind him.

“Angel! I apologize. Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it. Work with me here, I’m apologizing here, okay? Good. Get in the car!” He was talking to fast.  
Aziraphale turned, blinked, still processing his words. “What? No!” He contradicted forcefully.  
Crowley took a deep breath. “The forces of hell have figured out it was my fault. But we can run away together. Alpha Centuri!” He raised his hand, pointing towards the sky. “Lots of spare planets up there. No one would even notice us.”  
“Crowley, you’re being ridiculous.”  
“You're so clever. How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?”  
“I forgive you.” Aziraphale said, his tone so very soft, but it still felt like a blow to his chest. Crowley’s face fell.  
Angrily Crowley stalked back to his car. “I’m going home, angel. I’m getting my stuff and I’m leaving. And when I’m up in the stars, I won’t even think about you!” He dramatically slammed his door shut and started the Bentley. Crowley didn’t care about the tempo limit of central London when he sped through the streets.  
Stupid, stupid. And Aziraphale was just as infuriating.

***

**One apocalypse that didn’t happen later, currently Earth**

They had enjoyed another nice dinner at the Ritz. The food had tasted slightly different, maybe a result of Adam’s reset of the world. The Bentley happily supplied them with “You’re my best friend” and the lyrics of this song were just a bit too fitting.

Ooh, I've been wandering 'round  
But I still come back to you  
In rain or shine  
You've stood by me girl  
I'm happy at home  
You're my best friend

“This is not the right direction to the bookshop, Crowley”, Aziraphale objects softly, who had been slightly humming along, and it jerked Crowley back to reality.  
“Right. Wanna come to my place, for another drink? I could drive home, later?”, he offered.  
“Oh”, he sounded surprised. “Alright.” Crowley nearly sighed in relief. 

The cd – originally Velvet Underground, now after more than a fortnight later, another version of Queen’s Greatest Hits - jumped to the next song and he inwardly groaned. The music taste of the Bentley sometimes really had a sense of timing and sense of tact which was sometimes more and sometimes less helpful.  
Crowley had a fluttering feeling in his stomach and he hold onto the steering wheel a little too tightly. He did his best to keep his eyes on the road and not look over to Aziraphale. He would just wait this one out. The song was just three minutes or so long. It was less than a blink of an eye compared to their life spans. He should be able wait out a simple song, right?

Dining at the Ritz, we'll meet at nine precisely  
(One two three four five six seven eight nine o' clock)  
I will pay the bill, you taste the wine  
Driving back in style, in my saloon will do quite nicely  
Just take me back to yours that will be fine (come on and get it)

Or not, he corrected himself, slightly clenching his teeth. Involuntarily he looked of the corner of his eye over to Aziraphale and he could see him smiling at these lines. Crowley could feel his body temperature rising a little. Damn it! He desperately wished there were a CD in his car that hadn’t spent a fortnight here or a car that didn’t chose the songs based on the mood of their inhabitants.  
At least there weren’t far from his flat anymore.

***

“It’s kind of cold in here, is it not? Not the temperature, mind, but without a personal touch? It doesn’t feel quite homey, is it.” Well, definitely not compared to the cosy, dusty warmth of the book shop, no.  
“It’s called style, angel.” Crowley didn’t even bother to hide the slight affront in his voice, while he watched Aziraphale carefully taking in his flat. “And it lacks not a persona touch, thank you very much.” With that he opens a door which leads into one of the room where he keeps his plants.

“Oh, Crowley, what a beautiful garden you have.” Aziraphale softly touched one of his plant’s leaf. It didn’t tremble under Aziraphale’s touch, like it would have under Crowley’s.  
“Don’t spoil them, angel.” He rushed forward and the leaf recoiled slightly from Aziraphale’s hand, as Crowley came to stand next to him. The angel was caressing the plant leaf. And... There were tiny white flowers that now bloomed shyly atop. This plant had never sprouted that many blooms before no wonder how many times Crowley had threated it.  
“Spoiling?” Aziraphale half turned to him, a surprised expression on his face. “But look at them, pretty plants like these have to be praised. They deserve it. Just look at it. It does so well.” Crowley fought himself not to be jealous of his plant. That would be ridiculous, right? He scowled.  
“Yes, but they only are this pretty because I make sure of their progress.” The look Aziraphale shot him was questioning, but he let the subject drop, for now at least. 

Carefully he stepped in front of him. “Do you trust me, angel?”, he asked softly.  
Aziraphale looked at him. He must have There’s a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, but it’s gone in a blink of an eye. “I do.” It sounded honest.  
Crowley took a deep breath. “Then take my hand and close your eyes, please.”  
“Alright.” Aziraphale closed his eyes and hold out his hands for him to take. The trust he showed him, was enough and a surge of hope flooded through Crowley.  
One snap and they were gone.

His part of space had changed over the centuries that had gone by when he stood here the last time. The stars were still glittering, but there were slight changes in their positions, yet still beautiful.  
“You can open your eyes now, angel.” Crowley let go off his hands.  
Aziraphale’s eyes flew open and he took a sharp breath. „Oh, Crowley.“ There‘s was so much softness in his voice, that makes Crowley‘s insides hurt. “I never knew it would be so beautiful.” His whole face lit up with awe and love.  
“Are they yours?”, he asked, turning his head back to him. Crowley didn’t dare to look at him and adjusted his sunglasses to distract – himself – and appearing casual.  
„I created them for you“, he said, .  
Aziraphale’s eyes widened. „For me?“ It was nearly too much. Crowley is glad that he still wore his sunglasses and shielding his eyes from view.

“Would you allow me to look at your eyes, dear?” Aziraphale turned to him and reached out a hand to his face but not quite touching. Crowley merely nods, not quite trusting himself to speak. He lets Azirahale gently take off his sunglasses.  
He blinks and squints slightly and fights the urge to take his sunglasses back from Aziraphale’s hand and shoving them back to hide his eyes. Suddenly he feels very, very naked beneath the angel‘s gaze. 

The feelings radiating off him are mirrored in his eyes and it makes Crowley swallows nervously.  
A soft smile was spreading on Aziraphale‘s lips. „Thank you, my dear, for showing me. I like it very much.“  
Relief rushed through him and the built up tension falls of him like he had shrugged off a heavy blanket. Aziraphale lifted one hand and put his hand gently on his cheek. Crowley smiled back at him.  
“I’m glad you like it, angel. I can’t tell you how glad I am.”  
He felt strangely weightless and happy and with a snap, he stopped the time for just a little bit longer.


End file.
